All Things Chuck Norris

ArentYouChuckNorris.com is dedicated to convincing the world that Chuck Norris runs around in disguise as famous people. That’s right, when you see Spike Lee at an NBA game, it might not be Spike at all; it might just be Chuck Norris. And that means you, as a person who staunchly believes this theory, should walk right up to Spike (even if he’s in the men’s room) with your video cam rolling on your cell phone and ask him, “Excuse me, but I was wondering…Aren’t you Chuck Norris?” You capture Spike’s total confusion on your video cam and then upload said video to the ArentYouChuckNorris website for all of your fellow fanatics to enjoy. You could even write a little story about what happened on the ArentYouChuckNorris blog.

The site gets an A for creativity, but a D for its video quality and selection. The “team” as they call themselves may be in need of a little recruiting…like perhaps they could get Perez Hilton or Barbara Walters to start throwing in the “Aren’t You Chuck Norris” question in the midst of high-profile interviews. Or here’s an idea: why not employ a few crazy people to show up at movie premieres and start screaming, “Aren’t You Chuck Norris?” to anyone who saunters by on the red carpet?

It has been said that “There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’ computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.”

Sure this ‘Chuck Norris Fact’ provides a good laugh, but one has to wonder…how did someone get close enough to Chuck’s computer in order to see this? And what replaced the ‘ctrl’ button on his computer? Some theorists believe the origin of this Fact is linked to martial arts fighter Skipper Mullins. Mullins is a martial arts fighter who had been defeated by Chuck Norris a few times in competition fighting. One of those losses happened in Dallas in 1968 when Chuck Norris was fighting with a broken nose. The conjecture is that Mullins, fueled by the rage of getting beaten by a guy with a busted nose, broke into Chuck Norris’ home. It is not certain what Mullins was searching for, perhaps steroids, pain killers or other substances that would provide Chuck Norris with that renowned indestructible nature. What Mullins did find was Chuck Norris’ PC. He turned it on, searched around in the files and found nothing out of the ordinary. When he attempted to turn the PC off, however, it froze up (note: possibly this is also the origin of the Chuck Norris fact about Bill Gates). Mullins then thought he’d try the old “ctrl-alt-delete” trick, and immediately noticed the lack of a control button. In its place was a button marked “eject.” Curious, Mullins pushed the button. A source close to him says he described what happened in this way, “I was thrown into the air and I felt something like a roundhouse kick—except it was in the air. I know it doesn’t make sense, but it just felt that way.”

Mullins has since denied this admission.

No one has gone near Chuck Norris’ computer since.