All Things Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is mad, fightin’ mad. His WorldNetDaily column this week rants against the politicians who voted for the multibillion dollar financial sector bailout. And he makes a pretty compelling argument. Not that he needs to…did anyone in this country really think it was a good idea to dump money into the economy to placate financial firms that made bad investment decisions? In principal, bailing out risk-takers is, well, disgusting. But as a taxpayer and voter, you have to hope that someone smarter than you knows that this is the right thing to do. Otherwise they wouldn’t pass it, right?

Norris doesn’t think so. He points out that the bailout bill had more than $112 billion of nonsensical tax breaks, like the $192 million in tax breaks for rum producers in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands? I like Mojitos as well as the next guy, but come on. And $6 million in tax breaks for wooden arrow manufacturers? Please someone explain what this has to do with mortgage-related securities.

Chuck says vote ‘em out of their jobs, but I liked it better when he said he’d choke them unconscious. Then give them all WWCND bracelets.

Who is John Gault? And who is Chuck Norris?

It’s tough to be a conservative in Hollywood. Just ask Shannen Doherty, Chuck Norris and Gary Sinise. Norris recently wrote a commentary on this very topic, pointing to a Washington Times article claiming that a group of conservative-minded entertainers had been having secret meetings to discuss shared political views and values. It is odd that the Washington Times would choose to “uncover” this not-so-scandalous bit of news, when there are certainly far weirder and more destructive things happening in Hollywood than the gathering of some actors who all voted for Ronald Reagan.

Shannen Doherty, an admitted Republican, alluded to the intolerance of conservatism in Hollywood when she said, “This is a free country, and nobody should be criticized for their political beliefs. We’re all allowed to have our opinions.” Such intolerance should not be tolerated! Norris’ more recent commentary follows the same reasoning:

“This is America, and we should respect the fact that we will have strong, diverse opinions,
and we must allow one another the freedom of speech to air such opines, not suppress them through peer pressure of any type like children.”

Chuck goes on to say that we can’t progress as a country until we “drop the partisan rancor.”  Now this sounds kinda like what I said about Chuck Norris after he got a little too irate with Arianna Huffington on TV. (Chuck, have you been reading my blog? Can you drop me a comment once in a while? I know, I know, you don’t comment on blogs, blogs comment on you. But please?) But I digress…this might the one thing that Chuck Norris and Rodney King can agree on, that we all just need to get along.

Margaret Cho doesn’t like Chuck Norris. In a blog post on her site, she waffles between which is worse: the McCain-Palin ticket or a Satan-Chuck Norris ticket. Oh yeah, and in case you’re wondering, Margaret Cho is a comedienne. She makes appearances on TV and does stand-up routines and stuff. Here’s what she said:

‘I am not voting for McCain. I hope that is obvious. I am sick of everyone saying, “He was a good soldier. He was a good soldier.”

Um yeah. He was captured.

So he was not that good.

And now with Sarah Palin at his side, they have actually become the worst ticket imaginable. The only way it could be worse would be if Satan were running with Chuck Norris as his VP. Actually, Lucifer-Norris sounds better than McCain-Palin.’

Ok so here’s my question…is that funny?